I don’t want to clean, Mommy!

My family knows how this house hold operates on the weekends especially on a Saturday, and when they act in shock when I remind them, I am annoyed.

On Saturday, I like to wake up have breakfast with my husband and daughter, do our household chores, shower/change; head out to accomplish the to-do/errand list, and then enjoy what’s left of the weekend.

So, this Saturday, after breakfast, I tell my daughter “honey, can you please do your chores so we can knock it out-of-the-way.” She of all people knows that when I am saying something, I am saying it for a reason.

She says: “I don’t want to. You never told me I had to do them.”

Mind you she is kicking and throwing her body around like she’s doing a new dance move.

Me: “Well, I don’t want to do mine either, but I have too! Remember, I made a list for you a couple of months ago that has your chores. You can find the list in your night stand drawer.”

She says: ” Why, do I have to do them? I don’t understand why I have to make my bed when I am just going to mess it all up when I get in bed in a few hours.”

Me: “You need to clean your room we have lots of things to do today.”

I am really trying to stay away from saying BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!

She says: ” You don’t understand how much stuff I have to do? I have to make my bed, pick up my clothes, pick up my toys, open the curtains. That is too much stuff and it takes a long time.”

Me: ” Of course, I know what your duties are and how long it takes to finish them. I used to do them. Now, I’m not asking you to do them, I am telling you. So put a smile on your face and do them.”

As she is pouting and storming off, I think to myself, I am going to make a list of all my chores and have her compare her list to mine. She needs to see what I have to do. So, I immediately start writing down all my chores.

5 minutes pass and she comes back to me and says “I am done and I am going to play on my iPad.”

I stop her in her tracks and tell her that I want to show her something.

She says: “Gosh! What, now!”

Me: ” You know when I tell you to do something, I am telling you for a reason. I think you forgot that I told you 30 minutes ago that you have a hair appointment and we must run out here shortly. I expect we will be gone the rest of the day and we wont have time later to do our chores. While you were cleaning I wrote down some of the chores that I have to do and how long it usually takes me to complete these task.”

She says: ” I don’t need to see the list. I have more things on my list and it takes a long time.”

Me: “Let’s compare your list with my list and see what you have to complain about.”

I start going through my list telling her that I have to clean 2 bathrooms and it takes about 45 minutes to an hour for each bathroom.

I go into details describing some of the task like: scrubbing the shower walls and tub, clean the sink, scrubbing the toilet, mopping, trash, etc. etc.

By now, I can see that she realizes her little list of things isn’t so bad.

I continue on naming other chores: washing clothes, vacuuming, dusting, clean the kitchen, so on so forth.

Me: “See honey, my list is way longer than yours but you don’t hear me huffing and puffing when I have to do these time sucking task. I just do them because it must be done. Otherwise, who is going to do them?”

I also have 2 reasons why you do these task.

1. You need to learn about responsibility.
2. I need your help. When you clean your room that helps lift some of the weight off my shoulders.

She says: “I understand.” You know mom, I can help you make your list smaller. You need to start giving dad chores.”

Me: “Well honey, you see that I don’t have the living room or folding clothes on my list. That is your daddy’s chore.”

We immediately look at the couches and see a mountain of clothes.

She says: ” Mom, daddy left the house before doing his chores.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I guess I need to have this very same talk with daddy.”

Balancing more than 1 plate

20130927-091804.jpg

Since I haven’t been posting anything in the last couple of days, I thought I would let you know what I have been up to and what is on my plate.

Plate 1- Priority 1 – Finding a house.

Plate 1 is Priority 1 because I decided not to rent any more and I am looking to buy a house. Since I don’t know the timing of when a house will appear on the market, I am on a month to month option in my current residence and my landlord has punished me with fees for the m2m option and has raised my rent. The rent that I am paying for my current residence is too much and not worth it. I must stay on top of this and find a house soon.

Plate 2 – Priority 1 – Finding a new job.

Plate 2 is Priority 1 because I want to buy a nice home in a nice area, so I need to increase my pay. The price range that I am at now is not going to be a very good range for long as the housing market is rising and the interest rates are going up. I could up my price range with my current pay but I would not be able to do anything. I would basically be working to pay my mortgage. I could buy a fixer upper home at the price range that I have right now and could turn it into my dream home but I have to be honest, I would not get around to doing some of the task and these types of homes are not in the best area. I must stay on top of this and start being more aggressive in my job search.

Plate 3 – Priority 1 – Getting my car repaired.

Plate 3 is Priority 1 because I need my car. Last Thursday, I was driving home and something in the road flew up and SMASHED my windshield (Details on my accident to follow on another post). I have borrowed my mother-in-laws car but don’t feel comfortable because I don’t want to be held liable if something were to happen to her vehicle. In order to get my car fixed, I have to wait for the collusion shop to do their assessments, send me the paper work, send them back the papers so that they can schedule the repairs with 2 different teams to remove my seats and dashboard in order to clean up the glass and repair the windshield. Plus, the car that I am using takes so much gas (doesn’t help that I commute 50 miles a day round trip). I must stay on top of this too and find a job closer to home.

Plate 4 – Priority 1 – Everyday chores/activities.

Plate 4 is ALWAYS Priority 1. As a mom and a wife, it is very important for me to have my household run smoothly. If I go 1 day without doing dishes or clothes it immediately snowballs and I become over whelmed with other chores. I have to keep on schedule and do this everyday. Since my accident, I have let some of the chores back up. I knew that would be a bad idea but what can I do, my eyes were messed up and my back was sore. My husband and daughter help as much as they can but they have their own chores and sometimes fall behind in what they need to do when they pick up my weight.

Aside from the chores, I have other things to do: helping my daughter with school work, volunteering, and whatever miscellaneous things that come up.

I have delegated as much as I can but sometimes if you want things done right you have to do them yourself.

This is what I have been up to. Gosh, when the majority of these to do’s are off my list, what will I complain about next.

I opened the door to a stranger!

Today, I broke protocol on a very basic safety rule: I opened the door to a stranger.

The stranger I opened the door to was a maintenance worker from my apartment complex. Although I scheduled this appointment and was expecting him, I should have validated who was on the other side BEFORE I opened the door.

I have no idea why I just opened the door without taking precautions. I guess I was on auto-pilot and not in the moment since I was working from home. I assume that if I heard a knock that it would be a reliable and good will man.

When I realized what I did, I had the door wide open. There I was staring at the guy with my eyes wide open, frozen with disbelief. He didn’t say anything to me nor I to him.

I was in shock with myself because this is so out of character for me and on top of that I made this mistake in front of my daughter.

Now, someone was watching out for me.

Lets just say that this wasn’t the maintenance guy (thank you God that it was) I would have just let a stranger in my house.

After he left, I told my daughter of my mistake and reminded her to NEVER, EVER open the door to a strange and to validate that the person on the other side is legit.

From this experience, I realize that adults do forget the basic safety rules. It has open my eyes and reminded me that I need to review my safety rules.

I also need to address the maintenance manager and let him know that his employees need to:

1. Announce themselves when they are at the door.
2. Have their maintenance guys dress in uniforms.
3. Have badges or a form of id that validates their identity and that they do work for the complex.

Compliments! The making of a monster?

Do you know of someone that insist that you praise/compliment their kids?

Well, I do. In fact, I have a family member (by marriage) that is guilty of this. It never fails that when we get together, he always wants me to compliment his kids (especially his daughter) on things that he feels should be complimented on.

For example, if his daughter is wearing a hat, he will say “oh, just look at that beautiful girl. Does’t she look so beautiful with that hat. Don’t you think she looks so cute? She is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, don’t you agree?” It doesn’t stop there, he will repeat the question over and over till you answer.

You may have thought, T just answer the first time and he will quit asking but this scenario happens twice or three times in a visit. I have no problem giving anyone’s child(ren) a compliment, when it is do, but if I am being forced to give a compliment more than once, then I am annoyed.

Besides, being every so annoyed, his daughter is starting to get an ego and expects that everyone give her a compliment every time she is around and expects that everyone give her what she wants, when she DEMANDS IT. Who wants to give a compliment to a little monster.

A few years back when she was 3, I started to see a change in her attitude and the way she was treating others. After observing her, I found that after she gets this BOOST, she was on a self-esteem high and would try to put others down. She was becoming a bully! When I address her mother about this and suggested some pointers on how to stop this, she seem opened, thanked me for the feedback, and said she would discuss the issue with her husband.

Well, I’m sad to report, the problem wasn’t fixed and in a sick way, they like how she acts and because of this I have limited my exposure to them as I REFUSE to enable this little girl’s kick. I understand her parents are to blame but they don’t get the hint that the WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND their daughter and she is headed for a rude awakening.

Well, I can’t stay away from them forever.

How do you think I should handle this situation the next time I visit them? Do you think over complimenting a child does good or bad?

P.S. My next visit is in a couple of weeks, so HELP!

20130730-212738.jpg