Thank You!

Aside

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I would like to take a moment to recongnize those fallen heros that have sacraficed their lives so that my family and loved ones could have our freedom.

For the heros that are still with us, thank you so much for all you have done and continue to do.

You will never be forgotten.

God Bless you all.

picture courtesy of Bing

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I don’t want to clean, Mommy!

My family knows how this house hold operates on the weekends especially on a Saturday, and when they act in shock when I remind them, I am annoyed.

On Saturday, I like to wake up have breakfast with my husband and daughter, do our household chores, shower/change; head out to accomplish the to-do/errand list, and then enjoy what’s left of the weekend.

So, this Saturday, after breakfast, I tell my daughter “honey, can you please do your chores so we can knock it out-of-the-way.” She of all people knows that when I am saying something, I am saying it for a reason.

She says: “I don’t want to. You never told me I had to do them.”

Mind you she is kicking and throwing her body around like she’s doing a new dance move.

Me: “Well, I don’t want to do mine either, but I have too! Remember, I made a list for you a couple of months ago that has your chores. You can find the list in your night stand drawer.”

She says: ” Why, do I have to do them? I don’t understand why I have to make my bed when I am just going to mess it all up when I get in bed in a few hours.”

Me: “You need to clean your room we have lots of things to do today.”

I am really trying to stay away from saying BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!

She says: ” You don’t understand how much stuff I have to do? I have to make my bed, pick up my clothes, pick up my toys, open the curtains. That is too much stuff and it takes a long time.”

Me: ” Of course, I know what your duties are and how long it takes to finish them. I used to do them. Now, I’m not asking you to do them, I am telling you. So put a smile on your face and do them.”

As she is pouting and storming off, I think to myself, I am going to make a list of all my chores and have her compare her list to mine. She needs to see what I have to do. So, I immediately start writing down all my chores.

5 minutes pass and she comes back to me and says “I am done and I am going to play on my iPad.”

I stop her in her tracks and tell her that I want to show her something.

She says: “Gosh! What, now!”

Me: ” You know when I tell you to do something, I am telling you for a reason. I think you forgot that I told you 30 minutes ago that you have a hair appointment and we must run out here shortly. I expect we will be gone the rest of the day and we wont have time later to do our chores. While you were cleaning I wrote down some of the chores that I have to do and how long it usually takes me to complete these task.”

She says: ” I don’t need to see the list. I have more things on my list and it takes a long time.”

Me: “Let’s compare your list with my list and see what you have to complain about.”

I start going through my list telling her that I have to clean 2 bathrooms and it takes about 45 minutes to an hour for each bathroom.

I go into details describing some of the task like: scrubbing the shower walls and tub, clean the sink, scrubbing the toilet, mopping, trash, etc. etc.

By now, I can see that she realizes her little list of things isn’t so bad.

I continue on naming other chores: washing clothes, vacuuming, dusting, clean the kitchen, so on so forth.

Me: “See honey, my list is way longer than yours but you don’t hear me huffing and puffing when I have to do these time sucking task. I just do them because it must be done. Otherwise, who is going to do them?”

I also have 2 reasons why you do these task.

1. You need to learn about responsibility.
2. I need your help. When you clean your room that helps lift some of the weight off my shoulders.

She says: “I understand.” You know mom, I can help you make your list smaller. You need to start giving dad chores.”

Me: “Well honey, you see that I don’t have the living room or folding clothes on my list. That is your daddy’s chore.”

We immediately look at the couches and see a mountain of clothes.

She says: ” Mom, daddy left the house before doing his chores.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I guess I need to have this very same talk with daddy.”

Compliments! The making of a monster?

Do you know of someone that insist that you praise/compliment their kids?

Well, I do. In fact, I have a family member (by marriage) that is guilty of this. It never fails that when we get together, he always wants me to compliment his kids (especially his daughter) on things that he feels should be complimented on.

For example, if his daughter is wearing a hat, he will say “oh, just look at that beautiful girl. Does’t she look so beautiful with that hat. Don’t you think she looks so cute? She is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, don’t you agree?” It doesn’t stop there, he will repeat the question over and over till you answer.

You may have thought, T just answer the first time and he will quit asking but this scenario happens twice or three times in a visit. I have no problem giving anyone’s child(ren) a compliment, when it is do, but if I am being forced to give a compliment more than once, then I am annoyed.

Besides, being every so annoyed, his daughter is starting to get an ego and expects that everyone give her a compliment every time she is around and expects that everyone give her what she wants, when she DEMANDS IT. Who wants to give a compliment to a little monster.

A few years back when she was 3, I started to see a change in her attitude and the way she was treating others. After observing her, I found that after she gets this BOOST, she was on a self-esteem high and would try to put others down. She was becoming a bully! When I address her mother about this and suggested some pointers on how to stop this, she seem opened, thanked me for the feedback, and said she would discuss the issue with her husband.

Well, I’m sad to report, the problem wasn’t fixed and in a sick way, they like how she acts and because of this I have limited my exposure to them as I REFUSE to enable this little girl’s kick. I understand her parents are to blame but they don’t get the hint that the WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND their daughter and she is headed for a rude awakening.

Well, I can’t stay away from them forever.

How do you think I should handle this situation the next time I visit them? Do you think over complimenting a child does good or bad?

P.S. My next visit is in a couple of weeks, so HELP!

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